Oh my goodness – where do I start?! I met Pam over 30 years ago at a Lamaze class in Long Beach, CA. We have been close friends ever since! Pam was also friends with Leslie Hays, where in 1980 they worked together in Portland, OR. Pam has stayed close to each of us over the years, and most recently, as we BOTH experienced major disabilities. When Pam encouraged Leslie to come out for a Boston/Cape visit last fall, she introduced us over lunch in the North End, known as Little Italy (ironic, but more on that later!) She knew we had each been through so much in our lives, and hoped that we could embrace our commonalities and also become friends.

As Leslie, a former high-functioning Director of Operations, stood in my living room telling her story from Directorship to Disabled and, unemployable over the past 5 years, I realized that we really did share a lot of similarities. Leslie had experienced three aneurisms in 2008. They only gave her a five percent chance of recovery after surgery, not to mention future probability of problems.  She has a bit of right side neglect, memory issues, and gets confused and disoriented when under pressure.    I could tell Leslie was sincere and offered her story/wisdom of what she had been through to connect and help me. At the time, I was only one year out from my stroke and just getting back to work, trying to align myself to who I knew as the old Patti and not accepting that the present Patti was different. She received a 20% chance of recovery after her stroke.   Struggling with what was supposed to be happening in her life, She keep praying and chanting…get back to normal…back to normal…back to normal – you can do this! But the day before I get discharged from rehab I have another stroke…. major set-back to the chanting.  Little did I know that my normal was about to change drastically over the next year! Like Leslie, I had returned to work and about 10 months into it, my employer with confused and baffled looks (plus please don’t sue me in their eyes) said “nope, your not cutting it, your not the girl we hired, we have to let you go”. Surprised? No… not for Pattie; Everyday was a marathon of suffering and each moment trying to be THAT girl. Problem is I had no idea who THAT girl was anymore.

Brain injuries are really weird. You actually look well, but your head is short circuited! It is similar to driving down a smooth road and then hitting speed bumps at 70 MPH, with your wheels ending up on the other side of the road! The outside of the car looks the same, only the passengers are asking what the hell just happened!? And always seeing a lieelt more inside damage that was not apparent directly after the incident.  So now I have what is now known to me as left side neglect. I actually did not know my left side existed – it feels like someone poured cement in my temple and is heavy down to my toes. I feel nothing, but can move it while concentrating… thanks to mirror therapy. So, She was out of a job and did not know what to do! She bought a cheap airline ticket to see her two friends Debbi and Paulette, figuring they will remind hee of who She was.!?! Patti gets to the airport and breakdown in confusion in the United terminal. I am not talking about sobbing. This cry was coming from my toes, like a two year old! I was confused and lost. This had happened once before after the stroke. A TSA guy comes and helps me. The first guy turns to the handoff person on those little golf carts and says “this is a very nervous traveler be careful and gentle”. I almost laughed forgetting what I had just displayed in public. I had traveled for years on a weekly basis and cross county was nothing I was scared of! I get to California and stay for a few weeks.

Upon my return from California Pam and her hubby Ralph, were still in the wings.  They take a ride to my house and say “you need to prepare yourself for getting rid of this monster of a house”.  I had a 8 bedroom 3200 sq ft house. Ralph takes downstairs and Pam upstairs every closet is gonna be cleaned out.  So I sit on my bed while my best friend Pam says “these high heels need to go!”  I sob and realize it is true!  I had to give away my beautiful shoes, and she weeded out my clothes too.  When it was all over I remember feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was ready to move on.  (see blog on this) Cleaning closets is very therapeutic?!!?

Okay so now your gonna know why the background of all this is super important!  Pam is not finished with us yet….Pam calls and says, “you remember Leslie – well she wants to go to Italy – you should go with her! She shouldn’t travel alone, nor should you! After my complete melt down in Logan airport, I knew that those traveling days alone were gone for me too! So here we go….why not? Leslie and I made a plan to go to Italy and both of us were ecstatic! Of course it didn’t end there! Leslie then makes a plan to take a house sitting job in Ecuador and asks if I’m game! I jump on board. We had the time of our lives and managed this TOGETHER. What one of us struggles with, the other picks up the slack. While we were in Ecuador, we discussed the reality of …(since we will already be in Italy) extending our Italy trip. Why not??!! Long story short…we now have a trip booked to Rome, Paris, Normandy France then back to Tuscany….house sitting and watching pets! Follow me now to see how our lives change as we start to be the new version of ourselves and how this affects our loving families!